My Heart Is Breaking

I am scared. I am so scared for the kids we spent time with when we adopted our boys. There are many other kids in need, but these are kids we spent time with. These are the kids our children grew up with. We have so much love for them. There are a few different things going on with orphanage 50.  http://reecesrainbow.org/category/waitingbycountry/ee-1/orphanage-50

Some of the boys were transferred to a different place a couple years ago. They need families and some of them are aging out. I don't know them as well, but other people have spent a lot of time with them. The second orphanage has the Happy Homes where Orion and Theo used to live. The homes may be turned into foster families. It sounds great but the kids would be sent back to adult institutions at 18 and couldn't be adopted. I'll talk more about them another day, but it isn't too late to start the process for them. The deadline keeps changing and a family could still step forward for them. Right now I'm praying my heart out for the kids at the third orphanage, the orphanage with the bedridden kids. A few kids have recently been adopted from here. I saw them more than a year ago at the old institution. They look much worse coming out of the new institution. I am trying to process my shock and horror. 

I am scared some of these kids will die. The bedridden kids who our Evan used to live with were all transferred the day before we left. I will never forget watching Denzel get lifted out of his crib and laid on a mat on the floor to wait while the cribs were broken down. He had smiled and laughed every time the boy in the crib next to him did something funny. He had a feeding tube in his nose and he was swaddled to keep him from pulling it out. A few years earlier before a charity stepped in the children there were all very thin. He is shockingly gaunt in his older photos. He had gained weight before he was transferred. I don't know how he is doing now. 

http://reecesrainbow.org/65205/denzel 

This is an older photo of Denzel from his profile, not a current one.

"V." was one of my favorite kids. His crib was next to Evan's. He couldn't move his body very much but he could smile. He loved when you paid attention to him. One of his favorite things was to get a chance to be propped up in a wheelchair to go down the hall to the bathtub and come back. That was the only time he was ever out of his crib. He would be bursting with excitement as he left the room. His legs were twisted and one of the state hired nannies got frustrated trying to put a new pair of pants on him during moving day. It wasn't his fault. He is such a good boy. This is a picture I took of him when we were there.  

This is a new photo of him. He is on an air matress in his crib at the new orphanage. He can't move his body on his own to shift from side to side and he is spending all of his time on that matress in that crib. I really hope his skin isn't breaking down. His face was filthy and he looks so sad.

He needs a family so badly. He isn't listed but he IS available for adoption. His birthday is in 2003. I am praying that he will be okay. There is another boy with the same name and birth year who is at the same place and also available to be adopted. I'm worried about him too.

Sweet little Phoenix was another one of our favorite kids. He was so snuggly and had such a big smile. He is tiny, not much bigger than a toddler. You wouldn't believe that he is already 13 years old. He is also skinnier now at the new facility. He would do so amazingly well in a family. Bedridden kids can seem scary. They aren't! Over and over again I have seen families bring these kids home and they add so much joy to the family! Evan is actually the easiest of our kids! It is so worth it. Phoenix would be such a great son.

http://reecesrainbow.org/59329/phoenix

This is also an older photo, not a current one.

I don't know what to do. I'm praying for more families to come forward before kids die. I'm praying for things to get better because there are kids there who can't be adopted. Reign aged out before anyone knew it because of a mixup on her listed birthdate. She is there right now. There are kids whose families still have rights and aren't available for adoption. There are kids who are available for adoption but no one knows about them because they aren't listed.

I'm really at a loss right now. I'm so thankful we were able to add Evan to our adoption at the last minute. He was not in a good place. Laying down rooms are never a good place. No child, no person, deserves to live like that. But this transfer was supposed to move the kids into a better equipped facility. They had already survived many years after transfer out of baby homes into an institution mixed with children and adults. I am truly worried that the kids are going to slowly start dying, one by one. I don't know what Evan's fate would have been at the new orphanage. I'm thankful we will never know. 

I'm still left wondering what the fate will be of the children he spent his life with. I hope some of them will have the chance to blossom the way Evan has. He is so loved. These kids could be too. They just need families.