We are home with Amos, Daisy, Lee and Violet! Meanwhile we have jumped in again for one last very special girl. If you would like to help with that, you can make a non-tax-deductible donation HERE that we can access immediately. You can also make a tax-deductible donation HERE that we can use once we receive travel dates. Or by donating HERE you can help provide her and other children at her orphanage the care and nutrition they desperately need. See all of our current fundraisers HERE. We are thankful for any support you can offer!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Soleil Is Aging Out!

Soleil is our second aging out child this week. Go read all of the recent aging out posts! Aging out is when a child becomes unadoptable due to their age and the legal process in either the child's country or the country the child would be immigrating to. Soleil is in the same country we have adopted from, so we are familiar with the aging out process. A family will need to mail in an I-600A application and fees before Soleil's 16th birthday in January. A homestudy can be started after that, but the initial immigration paperwork and fees must be received before her birthday. Her country requires married couples and at least one parent be 15 years older than the child. You can get more information by emailing or visiting Soleil's profile HERE. She is also eligible for a $10,000 older child grant to assist with adoption expenses.

Soleil had a committed family a couple years ago, along with a few other girls from her orphanage. The family worked very hard to adopt the girls, but when they got to her country they found they wouldn't be able to adopt the children they planned. This is heartbreaking, but it happens.

These events tend to be rare, that a child can't be adopted by the family hoping to adopt them. In Soleil's case it was not at all due to any fault of hers. Sometimes files have extra diagnoses, although I don't believe hers did. Sometimes homestudies are written in a way that means one thing in everyday speech but another according to the people in charge of adoptions. Being approved for 3 children could mean you must adopt 3 children, not 1 or 2, if the wording on your homestudy isn't double-checked! Sometimes children have relatives with guardianship who will not release those children for adoption. In the case of very young children, sometimes another family will adopt that child before you get there. There are so many waiting children, sadly, that even if that child is adopted there will still be others who desperately need to get out of the orphanages too. That scenario is incredibly rare for older children with any special needs, who are almost never chosen in a "blind" adoption.

But whatever the reason was, it did not have to do with Soleil and her eligibility for adoption. She is still waiting and still needs a family! There were several other girls waiting with her, including Anastasia, Delta, Brandi, Chrystyna, Angela, Havalah, Adelina, Coralina, Venetia, Lorelie, and many others. I am unsure if they are all still in the same location or if they have been moved.

Soleil sounds like she would do very well in a family. She is one of the caring older children in her orphanage who the younger children look up to. She was even recommended by her orphanage director for adoption! Her profile describes her as one of the children who can be given jobs by the staff to help. She seemed to enjoy helping the younger children with the things they needed.

She understands questions and speaks clearly to answer them. She is able to read! That is amazing, considering the lack of education in many orphanages. Her profile only lists mild to moderate delays. Due to the nature of the medical system in her country, that could mean that her only special needs are due to life in an orphanage and related delays are because of that. It is also always possible that she has other undiagnosed needs, although she seems to be very capable.

Soleil has expressed a desire to be adopted and a fear that she won't be chosen. I don't know whether or not she knows that a family was once coming for her but was unable to adopt her, but I hope she will once again be given a chance to have a family. She has easier needs for a lot of families to commit to. She doesn't have the listed medical needs requiring treatment that some of the bedridden children I advocate for have. She doesn't have listed behavioral issues that sadly sometimes occur in older children who have waited in the orphanage system for a long time. In fact, her profile describes her as quite the opposite - a caring "big sister" to some of the smaller children and an orphanage helper who assists the caretakers.

It's always important to stress that none of that is a guarantee. Easy on paper doesn't mean easy in real life. But it is good information to have going into an adoption, to have an idea of what things should be on your radar. Soleil has been in an orphanage for a long time, but her profile and the words I have read from people who met her did not contain any red flags. I hope that will make it easier for her to find her family.

Soleil still needs a family, whether it is a family where she will be a big sister or a family where she will be a little sister or a family where she will be an only child. She needs a chance to learn new things and see how far she can reach in an environment where she can truly achieve her potential. I can't imagine a child who knows how to read ending up in that type of institution, and I can only dream of what she could do if she was given the chance. Soleil needs a family who will dream big dreams with her. She needs a family to come for her and fulfill her own dream of having a family.

Please consider if you have room in your heart and your home for Soleil. If you don't think you are meant to be her family, please share her so that her family can find her.


  1. I remember so well about Soleil. I do hope she will find a family.

  2. I wish we could..... do you know anything about the hitch? was it a paperwork thing? or an unknown aspect of the family coming for her that the country didn't like?

  3. It was nothing to do with her at all. It was a rather unusual situation with the family, where no one was at fault but they needed to adopt different children.

  4. Soleil's potential mom posted on her blog that the children they had signed up for were in different regions and they couldn't make all the travel. They ended up adopting a sibling group of 4 from one region.